A Letter From a Friend

A Letter From a Friend

Dear friend,

Can we talk?

letter-from-a-friend

Look, I know. You’re busy, I’m busy, we’re all busy.

But when you put me in this room and then leave me here, it makes me feel invisible. It makes me feel like…well, like you forgot about me.

Did you forget about me?

One minute I’m holding your hand and the next I find you slamming the door behind you.

I’m just confused, I guess.

You know, when you leave me alone here… it’s not all bad at first.

You leave the light on for me and you keep me warm. I like that. It makes me feel loved.

But then, after a little while, the light fades and I’m just left sitting here alone… getting cold… waiting for you to notice me.

I want to yell out to you, to try to get your attention. But I can’t.

I can see you pass by through the window, but you’re always headed somewhere else.

Somewhere… not here.

And so, I wait. Sometimes for hours.

Once, you came to get me and I got excited. But then I realized… when you opened the door, with another holding your hand… that you forgot that I was still here. That was… awkward.

Let’s be honest. I know there are others. I’ve seen them. I know I’m not the only one. But when you hold me close and we spend time together, I feel like it’s just you and me.

So, please, please… don’t forget about me.

I’m here waiting for you.

Love,

-your coffee mug… sitting here patiently in the microwave

A Letter From a Friend was written for my coffee mug, that my wife often has to rescue from our microwave after I’ve forgotten about it.
Ode to the Unopened Workout DVD

Ode to the Unopened Workout DVD

Project: Create a humorous ode to describe what often happens to workout DVDs. Good intentions, but often still stuck in their wrapper months later.

workout-dvd

I sit here alone in my plastic cocoon,
Watching from up on your shelf
I know when you bought me you had good intentions
Of changing the shape of your self

I’ve got some ideas for how to get moving
It’s all right here wrapped up in me
“Who are you?” you say. Oh, you’re so kind for asking
I’m your old exercise DVD

We’ve both heard you say “Oh, that exercise thing?”
“I don’t think that I really do own it”
But I’m pretty sure that’s the excuse that you use
As you sit there and munch on a donut.

So, I’ll just keep waiting and hoping some day
That I’ll get to help you get in shape
But until that time comes I’ll be silently waiting…
And planning my secret escape

8 Funny Road Races We’ve Been Waiting For

8 Funny Road Races We’ve Been Waiting For

This past weekend, I had the privilege of watching my wife Janette run another 5K. It had been a few years since her last one, but she hadn’t missed a step.

road-races
She’s always loved to run and I love watching her do what she’s passionate about.

I’m hoping to try my first one out this summer sometime. We’ll see.

I know 3.1 miles isn’t far for most people, but I guess I’ve tended to find myself more in the Gimli camp (from Lord of the Rings), when he says “I’m wasted on cross country. We dwarves are natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances.”

Yeah, that’s me. Very dangerous over short distances, indeed.

Anyway… in recent years it seems like the number of 5k’s and other road races has increased exponentially every year.

I’m always blown away by some new idea that someone came up with and find myself thinking, “Man, why didn’t I think of that?”

But even with the whole sea of races that are already out there, I think there are still some that are missing. So, here you go…

8 road races you need to try (once they are actually created):

mtn_dew
“Mountain Dew You Think You Can Finish?” 5K Extreme Obstacle Race
>Every runner gets a hydration pack filled with Mountain Dew
>Runners must conquer 5 extreme obstacles throughout the course
red_bull
“Red Bull Gives You Wings…and Stomach Cramps” 1/2 marathon
>Cups of Red Bull at refreshment tables every 2 miles
>Each contestant also wears a GoPro camera to capture it all
AmericaRuns
“America Runs on Dunkin” fun run
>They’ve secretly been advertising for it in their logo for ages. Now it’s time for the real thing.
>Of course, there are donuts at the finish line. What else would you run toward?
SBf1g1CQOmFRo5C2sEMg_burger_king_have_it_your_way
“Burger King have it your way” pick your distance race
>Runners get to pick any distance they want to run and keep track of their own time.
>Winner gets a free Whopper… if they can figure out who actually won
Energizer_Bunny
“Energizer keeps going and going” endurance race
>Contestants keep running until they’re totally drained and have to be thrown out (unless they’re rechargeable)
>Nothing outlasts this race
Please refer to the corresponding usage guidelines PDF, found in the "Logos" folder for further details on using the Yell trade marks. For press purposes please credit: Vismedia + 44 (0) 20 7436 9595
“Yellow Pages let your fingers do the walking” 100m finger walk
>Participants must “walk” 100m on the pavement… using their fingers
>There will be volunteers on hand as well to explain how a phone book actually works.
geico-logo
“Geico 15 minute” race
>Runners go as far as they can in 15 minutes.
>All who finish are told how much they could have just saved on car insurance during that time… probably close to 15% or more
HomeDepot-Image
“Home Depot you can do it, we can help” assisted 5k
>Volunteers in orange aprons are spread out along the course and can help push you along if you get winded or aren’t sure where to go… or have a question about plumbing.
What about you? What race would you like to see?
Tell us below in the comments…