The other night, something choked me up.
I was working downstairs and listening as my oldest son Eli and my daughter Eden played above me.
Eli is a senior in high school and Eden is in first grade. Yes, there’s so much more to that story (and kids in between), but that will come later.
As I listened to them wrestling around and having a tickle fight, Eden’s squeals were resonating through our hardwood floors (everything resonates through our floors 🙂 ), and I could hear the joy in her voice as they went back and forth.
I laughed as she kept switching between “Stop, stop!” and “Tickle me, tickle me!”
I love that they have that kind of relationship and I especially love Eli’s heart and the kind of brother that he is to Eden. I know she looks up to him in so many ways and treasures her time with him.
All good stuff. Right?
It’s what you want as a parent. Your kids enjoying each other, getting along, having fun.
But what got me was the ominous thought that Eden doesn’t fully realize that the current state of things will only be around for so long.
She has three brothers in high school, with Eli being a senior.
Change is on the horizon and the family dynamic will begin to change in the years to come.
I got choked up because I realize the gravity of that. I realize that our boys are getting older and will soon be venturing out into whatever God has in store for them next.
I’m excited for them and I know their lives have been leading up to this. They were meant for this. Meant to leave the nest.
I know as a parent this has been what we’ve been pouring into them for, preparing them for.
Change is Inevitable
I got choked up because, though I know change is inevitable and often brings new opportunities, it’s still hard for me to think about letting go of this snapshot of our lives right now.
That night, in that moment, everything in me wanted to just freeze time, to not let it end.
Everything in me wanted to hold on tighter.
I got choked up because of how God can remind us how we’re blessed, even when we feel like we’ve blown it or are struggling.
Honestly, as I worked downstairs, I was dealing with a lot of negative thoughts swirling around in my mind… who I was as a father among those.
Hearing the laughter from above reminded me that things were OK, that we’ve got good kids and the seeds of love planted over the years have sprouted up (and continue to keep sprouting bigger and bigger when it comes to our teens 🙂 ).
I smiled as my heart turned to thankfulness for what God had brought about.
Yes, things are going to change sooner than I’d like. And yes, Eden’s world will be different when they do.
But I’m ready to step into that new stage when it comes… in time.
For now, I’m savoring the Eden giggles and her time with our “bigs” as they navigate the high school years.
What about you? Are you able to savor those moments well while not thinking ahead? Share below in the comments…