Real Church Heroes – Mr. Offsite Parking Shuttle Guy

Real Church Heroes – Mr. Offsite Parking Shuttle Guy

I created the REAL CHURCH HEROES series as a way to highlight and show appreciation to the many church volunteers who give so freely of their time and gifts. Based on the popular “Real Heroes” ads.

Mr. Offsite Parking Shuttle Guy

“Presenting…Real heroes of your church”
“Real heroes of your church”

“Today, we salute you, Mr. Offsite Parking Shuttle Guy”
  “Mr. Offsite Parking Shuttle Guy”

“When people told you they’d never park off-site and ride in your big white behemoth, you laughed and bribed them with free food from the Cafe”
  “First-timers only”

“Like a clown driving a circus car, you manage to fit an insane amount of people inside your vehicle at one time, without breaking traffic laws”
  “Don’t forget about the seat belts”

“As captain of the U.S.S. Trinity, you navigate your large vessel through the sea of traffic and deliver your precious cargo to its port”
  “You’ve never lost a package”

“So put it in park and turn off the ignition, señor shuttle. Take a well-deserved siesta. You’ve earned it.”

  “Mr. Offsite Parking Shuttle Guy”

Real Church Heroes – Mr. Offsite Parking Shuttle Guy

Real Church Heroes – Mrs. Bulletin Insert Stuffer

I created the REAL CHURCH HEROES series as a way to highlight and show appreciation to the many church volunteers who give so freely of their time and gifts. Based on the popular “Real Heroes” ads.

 

Mrs. Bulletin Insert Stuffer

“Presenting…Real heroes of your church”
“Real heroes of your church”

“Today, we salute you, Mrs. Bulletin Insert Stuffer”
“Mrs. Bulletin Insert Stuffer”

“Laughing in the face of nasty paper cuts and chapped fingers, you plow through a stack of bulletin inserts with 10-fingered intensity”
“Put away that band-aid”

“A sermon note here, a church picnic flyer there…you deliver these important updates piping hot, wrapped in a bulletin blanket”
“With tender loving care”

“With origami-like precision, you bend and fold your artwork to create an informational masterpiece, suitable for framing”
“Or sticking in your Bible”

“So take a well-deserved coffee break, friend. And though the coffee may stain the outside of the bulletin, it’s what’s on the inside that counts”

“Mrs. Bulletin Insert Stuffer”